Don't like yourself? Sounds like a Pride Issue

I had an interview with my mission president today. My relationship with my companion is struggling right now, so the chance to chat with the Spiritual Giant, President Calderwood was much needed. Here are some highlights:

"I'm not frustrated because I don't get along with my companion, I'm frustrated because I don't know how to fix it! I think it was easier with my last companion because he isn't super confident. I WANTED to lift him up."

"So would you say you need to feel needed?"

"Now that you mention it... YES!"

After this, President had me figured out. He used a graph to illustrate my problem. I modified it a little, but it looks something like this:



Lack of Self Worth _______________Trust________________ Exaggerated Self Worth



Most of us, when we think of "pride," we think of that spoiled rich kid, or the captain of the football team who would never look down upon average people like us. *shutter* 

But there is another form of pride that has been eating away at me, and millions of others around the world, and I don't think anyone is noticing quite yet.

If you don't like yourself, chances are you may need to let go of a little pride. I'm not talking about the rich kid pride or the football player pride. I'm talking about the average person who is trying so so hard to just make the cut, and seems to always fall short kind of pride. What if the reason we never make the cut, is because we are setting our own standards? What if the only one we are failing is ourselves?

So I need to feel needed. Why? Well, it's because apparently I think that I'm not important unless I am helping someone in some way every minute of every day. And that makes me prideful. The universal sin. I trust my own actions to bring me self worth. Apparently it's not enough for me to know that I am the son of deity. It's not enough to know that my God knows me by name and loves me. 

That's not enough.

Well it should be. The cold hard truth is, none of us are in the middle (though I suspect my mom is pretty close). Everyone can see the right side pride. Probably because they want to be seen. But no one seems to notice the left side pride. 

Mormon 8:36 

And I know that ye do ^awalk in the pride of your hearts; and there are none save a few only who do not ^blift themselves up in the pride.

I would add to this that few do not tear themselves down in their pride.

Where do we put our trust? Do we trust ourselves? Or do we trust in Him who lived a perfect life, and set a perfect example for us?

I have a lot to work on, but after today, I'm going to work on those problems with an attitude of trust. Now I see that I don't need to set my own expectations. The Lord's expectation is progression. Nothing more and nothing less. I can make it over that bar. You can too.